Ok, I don’t know how to actually start except to jump right to my point, no beating around the bush this time. I have 8 piercings on my ear; I have a belly button piercing, a nose piercing and a teeny tiny Japanese tattoo on my right arm that says ‘special’. That’s just me, I like tattoos and I like piercings. I let the belly and nose piercings close up, mostly cause I got bored, maybe I’ll reopen ‘em eventually (ok, maybe I’m beating around bush a lil bit). Anyways, this dude saw my piercings and said ‘’ oh I’m sure your mum will be mad when she sees this ’’. And didn’t believe when I told him my mother was there when I did it. She actually made do it (the ear piercings anyway). She said ''how can you have just 2 ear holes, blah blah blah.... she took me to Hilton where she did hers, I was 16 at the time. Actually she made me have two more on each ear, I thought, why stop there? So i did an extra two. And just FYI, mum has 6 ear holes, 2 less than, mine.
Which brings me to my next point, my constant need to club at weekends, do I rave when I’m at home? Yes absolutely. I have the coolest family ever, if we actually don’t go out on the weekend, my parents wonder why. Well, except now, after the whole Jos crisis (again) and shit, staying home seems the safer option so naturally they would prefer if we stayed home. Trust me I won’t do what I don’t already do back home just cause I’m in the UK.
Do i wear weaves at home? Yes. My mum and I could go to the salon together; I’ll be fixing my weave while she does hers. Do i walk around without a scarf on my head? Yes. I might not be best Muslim, actually i’m a horrible Muslim (i am aiming to be better, actually exceptional), and those that judge me actually do the same but behind closed doors. Those that say they don’t drink alcohol, but you’ll see them in the club drinking champagne, uhm hellooooo? Or those that’ll wear hijab but come nightfall, they’d be in the club with incredibly inappropriate clothing grinding on a guy. Or those that keep their scarf on so not to reveal hair but have a skimpy top and mini skirt on, girl that defeats the purpose.
And yes, I drink. Infact i love it. Yeah, I know HARAM, I’m working on that. My mum will never actually believe that, I’m the most well behaved person in my family (ok, maybe I’m lying a little about this point)
My dad’s family think my mum didn’t raise us properly ( dads family Muslim, mums family xtian). But the truth is they only get a glimpse from the outside. In my family, we look out for each other no matter what, we confide in and trust one another, we don’t lie or cheat or sneak around doing what we shouldn’t , what better way to raise your children than for them to be open and honest? We have been instilled with values, compassion, responsibility, tolerance, self-control, perseverance, courtesy, helpfulness, respect (I can go on all night) and most of all, the worth of hard work and family, either the family you were born to or the family you choose to be willingly a part of. Because I wear jeans and what not, does that automatically make me a bad person? Does that mean that what I wear makes me the person I am, or the person I could be? It just makes no sense to me at all. Does wearing western clothing make me a horrible person? Apparently wearing such clothing makes me a sinner, but aren't we all? Can I be compared to murderers and rapists?
At a point my uncle said to me ‘’ we have been worried about your faith, mostly because of what you wear!!!!!! its fine to dress the way you do when you are in the UK, I would dress that way if I was there as well to fit in’’ but when I am back home I would dress appropriately. And FYI dressing appropriately in their opinion means wearing only Ankara, day in day out. That also doesn’t make sense to me. Isn’t that hypocritical? So essentially what he is saying is I can dress the way I want when I am outta the country but when in Nigeria, I should wear ‘’only’’ Ankara, which is ''supposedly'' in accordance to religion! Does it suddenly mean religion is only a factor when I am in Nigeria? And I know the Quran, and no where does it say you can only wear Ankara. It tells you to cover all areas except the hand, face, and feet. So what if I wear a top and a long skirt, or a maxi dress with sleeves, isn’t that in accordance to religion, who says it has to be a specific material, does it not cover my body? I guess I’m guilty of some atrocities on nights out, and I am trying to deal with that, but I mean, my clothes are not utterly revealing, I believe firmly that you do not need to be skimpy or slutty to look sexy, that shouldn’t make me a sinner!!!
I do believe people that are overly shielded from the world are those that do the most damage to themselves when they are on their own. I had a friend who didn’t have the same freedom that we did when we were children. She wanted so much to be cool, she’d wear her hijab when leaving home but when she met up with her friends, she’d take it off, and what she had on inside was too scandalous for a 13 year old. And at this point in her life, I dread telling you what she gets up to, while ‘WE’ who grew up with the liberal family that supposedly didn’t raise us well, we are NOT slutty-no-good-sugar-daddy-keeping-no-gooders. Just saying!
