meddling in relationships

It’s now bloody hot in London; I usually leave a window open day or night.  And every time I do, this bug flies in, I swear it’s the same one every time, I’m not being paranoid, it has it in for me, I know it. Here I am jejely trying to eat my eba and egusi (I’m not a big fan of eba but I’m too lazy to make anything else) and it keeps flying by. I have a thing for bugs, insects. Not a phobia, not a big thing like that,just a vehement dislike. Even if a harmless thing as a butterfly flies towards me, I don't hold my arm out and think 'awwww', I sprint the other way ASAP.  That’s beside the point though.

I just wonder at what point you decide your man is too possessive. I have dated a possessive guy before, he wanted to know where I was every minute, who I was with, if he didn’t know the person, I’ll have to provide WAEC essay to explain oh. And he was very paranoid as well, why do I have more guy friends than girlfriends, most times he would  show up unannounced just to see if I was where I said I was, or doing what I said I’ll be doing. He would constantly check my call log, emails, texts etc. I could go on forever oh; it was a definite no-no for me. Coupled with other more serious issues, we broke up after 2 years but that’s also beside the point.

I know this certain girl whose boyfriend is just like that and more so. He tells her what to wear, who to have in her house, he doesn’t want her going out, and he tells her who to hang out with, he even tells her what to eat cos he doesn’t want her putting on weight. I mean he wants to be in total control and maybe it’s just me and some of my issues talking but isn’t that way too much? And she is asking me if she should leave him or not.

Fact is I don’t meddle in peoples relationships, only the two of you know what happens behind closed doors, so putting my two cents in is basically useless so I don’t bother but apparently that answer is not satisfactory. She requires a yes or no. I really don’t want to get involved. I think she should, but voicing it out is too hard for me, we are not the same people, maybe u can tolerate what I can’t and vice versa. Besides my opinion shouldn’t really matter, no one can tell you if to leave a guy or not, it’s up to you na, what do you feel? Chai, young people self. 

Plus I’ve meddled in a friends relationship once before, unwillingly I might add (not that she had a gun to my head or anything) but her bf was cheating on her and almost everyone else knew and I felt if I was in her shoes, I’d like to be told so I opened my stupid mouth and said something. And when she confronted him, she had to mention that I told her so, after all d sweet talk and whatever else they did 'behind closed doors', she was back with him, and for some reason stopped talking to me, like I made it all up. She started talking shit to my bf at the time that I kissed this close friend of mine (very childish yes but alas we were young), and that was the end of our friendship. Oh and I did see her years later in a club in Sheffield on my brothers b-day, and well I’m not one to hold a grudge plus I’m 23 years old jo, I don’t have time for games, so I bought her a drink and we danced and laughed,  and all’s been forgotten. Well by then she was claiming virgin who found God but 4 those of us in the know............... hahahaha.

So back to my point, who is able to put up with such possessiveness? Or am I making an issue out of nothing.