It is true about me, i have always been afraid to feel for fear of hurt. In the process, i may have hurt others a lot so i can avoid this. I haven’t lost that fear yet, but I find that my heart has got a life of its own and its strongly going against my plan.
We all have that one person don’t we? The person we always go back to no matter what? Well, most of us anyways. He is my one, not ‘the one’ but i seem to have a special weakness for him, the one i find myself thinking of often. He was here recently, but he couldn’t stay, his scent still lingers though, makes my heart ache. You do not realise this, but this is very new to me, i have never felt this way, i can’t hide behind anything anymore because he sees right through me, I have always had a fear of being known. I have decided that i was happier without these feelings, i especially hate not being in control and i still have this sneaky suspicion that it will soon come crashing down, that’s how life works isn’t it, life, reality always gets in the way. I can’t even explain it to me, how possible is it that as cynical as I am, i am willing to give up a lot, to endure a lot.
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